Caleb keeps asking me to put on my white dress in the pictures from our wedding photos, so he can save me.

Allstar baseball

Ridge had a great season. We traveled to Evanston, WY and Bear Lake, ID. So proud of him! Brock also traveled with the team as their bat boy. It was a little weird this year though. Shane was able to travel with us. I had to teach him how to loosen up and have a good time. Luckily for him, I'm a good teacher.

Bear Lake Brawl 2009

I finally made it to Bear Lake not for reasons of leisure but for reasons of insanity. I took granny, Brock, Caleb, and Coop camping at the Rendezvous campground in Utah. The water is beautiful, shallow, and warm. The boys stayed at the beach and caught frogs and tiny catfish. We had cottontails, squirrels, and snakes in our campsite. OK, that sounds like leisure. It was the Bear Lake Brawl that turned this leisurely little trip into insanity. When Megs mention a triathlon this summer, I thought I would just go watch her. Little did I know she was sucking me in to her twist version of fun. Swimming, fun, biking, fun, running, sucks. I can't believe some knucklehead put all three together thinking it would be a rip roaring good time. The Brawl is a little race made up of an 800m swim, a 12 mile bike, and a 5k run. I'm excited to say, I finished. It was in the end a great experience. It was amazing to be around so many great athletes and their positive energy. It was also a great experience camping with the family. We camped in the path of the race. It was awesome to see my little ones looking up at me and cheering me on. I thought for sure they were going to chase after me but luckily it was hot enough they were happy to stay put. I am already planning to shave 30 minutes off my time for next year. What is wrong with me?

a huge blonde moment

I never cease to amaze myself! At a baseball tourney this summer Caleb had to make a pit stop. I asked him 1 or 2. He said 1 so I elected Brock to take him the rest room. Brock comes back and said Caleb did more in the potty than he was willing to deal with do so I head to the potties. Of course Brock had Caleb in the men's room. As brave as I could opening the men's door I shouted "I'm comin' in." the only reply was from Caleb, "I pooped". I went in and quickly finished our business and out the door we go. Luckily at that time, no one came in. A little while later, I myself had to powder my nose, so off I head to the bathrooms. I mindlessly went into overdrive and headed to the last pooper I visited. I walk through the door and there is a man standing there peeing. Oh ship! holy crap! I just walked into the men's room. I kept my cool, said my apologies and left him about his work. He said, "no problem," I turn around and head for the girls room like it did that kind of thing all the time.

I need a tutor

So, I was riding a train with my boys. Brock was rummaging through my bag and finds my wallet. He looked through it briefly and put it away. He looks at me a few miles later and asks me if he can ask a question. "Of course", was my reply. "Did you fail sex?" I just about fell off the seat. Of course a million thoughts go racing through my head. "what?, where did you hear that?" Then I realized what just happened. I started laughing and said, "were you looking at my drivers licence?" He said, "yes". Holding back the laughter, I told him, it wasn't a grade I received, it was my gender. I then had tears jumping from my eyes and just about pee'd my pants because I was laughing so hard. Boys make everything an adventure.

who wants to wash my cat?

we just came back from swimming, so I was giving the little boys a little naked time in the backyard. Cooper was calling for me and pointing at something. I walked over to the bridge where he was beckoning me. While I was strolling over to him I watched him sit on our cat. By the time I figured out what was happening, it was too late. When I got to Cooper I had realized why he wanted me. He had pooped on the first step. The cat just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I went back for a wipe, just in case the cat wasn't enough. As I was cleaning his bum, I found a hairy crack. Now Cooper has a clean crack and I have a clean cat.

who needs a movie?

4/5 members of my mantourage and I went to IF Saturday to spend the day with granny. We went to the Saturday matinee at the Paramount. Luckily we were the bulk of the crowd. There were, no kidding, about 10 people in the whole theatre. It's a good thing we were over half the audience, Cooper was in rare form. I know better than to take Coop into public places, why, why do I do these things? Humm, where to sit so we don't bug anyone. Oh ya, it didn't matter, we were the crowd. We finally get settled in and strategically place everyone where touching and sharing would matter the least. (not easy btw) Just as we settle the movie starts and Cooper sits down. Sat for the first 5 minutes. After his brief encounter with the well mannered side he slowly starts to meander. He works his way down the isle with the random sampling of drinks, then came back through for popcorn, and finished with one last lap for candy. On his way back to home base, he stops at Caleb. I think it was a because Caleb was the only one who was reluctant to hand over the goods. Coop tried to get Caleb's drink but K was to fast. K put his hand over his straw. It didn't stop Coop, he just bit him, grabbed the straw back and started chugging. What do you do? Who do you defend in this situation? Either way someone would end up crying. I did what any good movie watching mother would do, I popped a few milk duds in my mouth , sat back and just let it slide. There was enough drama on the big screen. They both learned a valuable lesson. Share or bite. Bite and get hit;).
This random sampling took up about 30 minutes of movie time. We still had 1 hour left. It was going to be smooth sailing. Just sit back and enjoy what was left of the movie with all 4 of the other people there. Out of the 4 people that wasn't us, one person just happened to be sitting in front of us. And of course she was by herself and of course Cooper was sitting right behind her. I knew she was trouble from the first time I laughed. I laughed out loud and she gave me the half profile turn glare. What? Really? I just shook it off. I've had worse looks than that for laughing in public. A few minutes later, another laugh from me. This time she turned and gave me the 3/4 turn and stare. Really? What? come on! She obviously had her panties in a wod. I'm no teenage usher but I'm sure it is clearly stated that it's OK to laugh at something that's funny in a movie theater. It's a little thing the writer's occasionally put into the script called "humor". It wasn't even the pee your pants kind of laughing it was a little snicker. At this point I was so glad Cooper was strategically placed away from the rest of my pose'. He started dancing to the music and got a pretty nasty glare from old tighty whitey. More music lead to more dancing. Old tighty couldn't take it, she got up and moved. The funny thing is, she could have moved anywhere, but choose to move one seat forward? whatever. I had bigger issues, Cooper issues. He started to race up and down the isles, luckily Caleb had to poop so we went to the bathroom. I was hoping he was constipated and it would take for ever. I swear that was the fastest he had ever taken care of business. I didn't waste enough time so we went back in to finish out the show. Man that was a workout. I love going to the movies, just not with Coop. Next time I'm only going to show up with 3/5 of my mantourage. Or, maybe I should go 5/5 and hope to cross paths with old tighty again.

power steering

I think the family Ram hates me. It hasn't forgiven me yet from the whole blown engine fiasco. I was coming home from IF heading to my mom's. I turn off hwy 26 and the Ram wants me to drive off the edge. I had to use my superhuman strength but kept it on the road. I pull into granny's and pop the hood. Of course I only have the ability to stare at the engine but it was worth a good look see. I noticed the lack of fluid in the power steering reservoir. I just happened to have a bottle of ps fluid in the back (that's right I'm like a boy scout, always prepared, not really, I asked for the contents to be poured into the Ram last year, regardless to say, it was still in the back.) I start filling the Ram and notice how the psf was running straight to the ground. I'm no mechanic, but I'm sure that's not how it's supposed to work. I load up the boys and head to Les Schaawb. They fixed it in 30 minutes, had popcorn, Backyardigains, and I now know every coolest tire/rim combo known to man thanks to the pimp your ride computer the boys learned how to use.
I had blown a hose, I didn't even know I could do that. I was very happy and relieved. Well fast forward 2 weeks. I went to granny's house dropped her off and was heading back to Soda. Doing 75 on the interstate, I pass a Lexus car hauler. As I pass in front of it, I notice a cloud of smoke. I couldn't tell if it was them or me. I went with the good hand and told myself it was them. The Ram started driving a little funny, I chalked it up as a windy day and went on my way. In McCammon I take the Soda exit and notice the power steering was gone again. I pull into the Flying J buy some psf and try to add it. Rerun. It just ran to the ground. I figure I made it this far without ps I would just drive home and would let the Shane deal with it this time.
Fast forward one week, yah, I'm still driving like I'm from the 70's, no power steering. Why am I keeping the gunmaker? I think I'm going to have to google how to repair power steering and get r done. or at least have a heart to heart with the family Ram and patch up the bad feelings it has for me.
At least now I know power steering is optional.

ducks

I had all the boys gathered up and we were heading for the recovery center to see granny. I went back in the house to get my phone and I hear quacking. The neighbors have ducks, so it's a normal noise. Then I hear, I've got him followed by angry squawking. In the time it took me to go in grab my phone and come out, the boys had managed to catch the neighborhood ducks. They were happy with there catch and was parading them around the yard. Just as I am instructing the two knuckleheads to put down their fowl friends before they get dirty, Brock's duck craps down the front of him. From shoulder to toe. He loves animals but hates poop. Anytime he even thinks about poop he gags. Ridge of course knows this and proceeds to start mock gagging. Brock then throws up. So instead of jumping in the van, Brock jumps in the shower, again. After a 15 minute cleanup detour we load up in the van and head to IF. Clean of feathers and poop. I think this was my fault for forgetting my phone.

Right of Passage

It took about 36 hours of class time, 3 hours at a time. During allstar basketball. Which meant Ridge went from school to basketball to class to bed for about a month. But he did it, and survived. He received his hunters education certificate. He shot a perfect score on his final. 4 out of 4 in the center. Bullseye baby!. He is so happy and so relieved. That was a hard test for a 4th grader. Nice job buddy!

RUS

Ridge wanted a dog for his birthday. He knew he couldn't get one but he at least gave it a good try. When he finally came to grips with the fact that there was no puppy in his future he started making a list of alternates. beaver, badger, bear, bobcat, buffalo no, no ,no, no. After being shut down with each request as he went down his list, he came up with a hamster. I don't know how we decided this was OK but the second he could see there might be hope, he jumped on the train to easy street. Which means, Grandma. When ever the two words Grandma and birthday come together, there's going to be trouble, for me. Grandma was excited to get this for Ridge. She sometimes goes a little overboard though. She new if she just brought one, 3 others would be sad. If she bought 2, 2happy, 2sad. I don't need to keep doing the math, just know that I am now the care taker of 4 rodents of unusual size. What?! Exactly what I was thinking. The boys of course were so happy. They love them. I love them too. I love listening to the little wheel they're spinning in from about 10 pm to 8 am. of course the little buggers are nocturnal. They don't stop. If you get up anytime between 10pm and 8 am, that little wheel is going. I hope it doesn't create to much friction, I'm waiting for the fire alarm to go off because they spin it to the point of combustion. Not only are they nocturnal, they are biters, and they draw blood. Caleb won't touch them now (which is nice), the last time he did, he had one dangling from his finger. Mommy take it off, it's biting me. You can't just take one off btw, they have to release, even if you shake it a lot. I also love the fact that they are easy to find, not! Before Caleb was bitten, he kept setting one free. I would have to do a head count about every 30 minutes. 1, 2, 3, where is it? And then a pursing squirrel hunt. I have now hoened my cat instincts. I can sniff one of those fluff balls out anywhere. I learned that I can go on a total lock down in about 30 seconds. I also love that they smell. 4 hamsters create a lot of mess. 4 boys can't keep up with it. I love cleaning up cages every day. I keep one thought in my head now. The life span of hamsters is only about 12 months, I figure they are already about 6 months old, I love that.

bathroom pass

At my house I don't have the priviledge of privacy. We have had a little people in our house for too long. I always have a constant companion. When I do the laundry, someone's in my basket. When I do dishes, someone's in my dishwasher. When I use the bathroom, I usually have someone sitting on my lap. There are boundaries when you have a toddler.
The same basic rule applies as a mother. No boundaries. I am called to serve in any condition and under any circumstance. This especially applies to the bathroom. I don't need a bathroom pass. Most of the time there is never any forethought as someone enters the bathroom. They just rely on me to come through for them. Mom, I need soap, I need a towel, I need TP.
I always walk in the bathroom regardless of what type of activity is going on in there to give or retreive supplies.
Unfortunatley everyone that uses our bathroom, doesn't live here. And some of those people forget about the toddler factor, so it's always a shocker if they get interupted.

I was pulling up carpet in our basement on Saturday and was getting ready to clean the tile underneath. As I'm heading for the bathroom, I hear the door shut. I didn't think twice about going in there and grabbing cleaning supplies.
I start to open the door. It is pushed shut.
I open the door again. It is pushed shut. The only one that doesn't want me in potty with them is Shane. I just assume it is him. This time before I try again, I tell him I just want the cleaning towel above his head. Open the door, it shuts. what the heck? I tell him I just need the towel. Door shuts. I decided I was going to try one more time before I cussed him out. I try and the door shuts as I hear, "It's Dick!"
I didn't even know he was visiting. I can only imagine his horror, trying to keep me out of the bathroom. He was so startled by me trying to come in there he couldn't even tell me who he was.
All I could do was walk away laughing. I felt so bad, for at least a second. I could only imagine how awkward he must have felt. The kicker, the toilet keeps running it that bathroom. So instead of fixing it, we just turn the water on and off when needed. Of course, if I didn't know he was here, so I didn't have a chance to tell him. He had to come and find me and ask me how to flush the toilet. I had tears streaming down my face at this point. After I stopped laughing, I told him sorry and gave him flushing instructions.
This could have all been avoided I he would have just handed me the towel. I need to send Cooper over to spend more time with Grandpa.

He's a natural

Caleb has been asking all winter to go skiing. He watched as his brothers geared up and went out. He would sit at the window and watch them ski or try to follow them in his winter gear. We are loosing all our snow so I thought I'd better get him out or I would here about it all summer. The big boys went on a hike while we set out for Caleb's first skiing experience. Of course to every beginner it looks easier than it is. I can still remember the tears of Ridge and Brock when they were learning. They wanted to tackle the biggest hills and couldn't even stay standing. I was ready this time. I put on my "fuzzy gloves" and was prepared for the drama. I was amazed that it only took 3 tries to get the skis clipped on. He fell a couple of times and learned really fast how to stand up. So I loaded Cooper into his sled and off we go. It was too easy, I should be a ski instructor. I was basking in my glory, pulling Coop in his mushing sled, skiing side by side with my new skiing buddy. I was set for the day. Just as the sun started to shine and the birds started singing, Caleb went for about 200 yards and then said he couldn't ski any more. He was to sore. I just started giggling. How can he already know that excuse? We had more time in getting dressed than in ski time. It think this is what is known as "baby steps." I took off his skis and off he went, with the agonizing pain seeming to go away with every bound. Maybe next time we will make it 400 yards.

6" of fresh snow

This is probably the hardest time to live in Soda. 2 days before this picture it was 40 degrees and grass was starting to show. Then of course it snows 6 inches and drops 30 degrees. We could have sat home and cried, like I was about too, instead we loaded up and went on one last winter safari. Shane took Ridge and Brock and walked the tracks from Monsanto to Kelly Park. They were all packing heat, you never know when the scary rabbits will attack. I think it's kind of funny the whole boy thing. If you tell them to go walk for 2 miles, it turns into the ulitmate male meltdown. If you give them a gun they loose all track of time and space and could walk for days on end. men!

the best birthday present ever

My guys wanted to do something special for my birthday this year. They know I love their handmade gifts. It is so sweet of them to put so much work and effort and thinking into the perfect gift that would make me happy. The boys have worked in the shop for the last 2 weeks. They have carved, glued, nailed, used the band saw, and drill. This is what they made for me. It weighs about 10 lbs. They wanted to put it in the living room but luckily it didn't come with legs. I talked them into the fact that it would make a great bird feeder. So this spring we will place it in the garden. This is a gift that only a mother could love and appreciate. I love my boys. It makes me happy that they love me too.

infamous last words

When you have a pile of kids running to and fro, you never know what to expect. Shane went to Logan to do some shopping (that doesn't seem possible I know). He took Ridge, Brock, and Caleb. On his way home he stopped off at Travs'. The cousins have been dying for a sleep over so Shane thought this was a perfect time. He would bring home Mason and Zoe. It sounded great until he realized he be riding home with 5 kids under 10. He has a hard time if the TV and the toaster are on at the same time. He stopped at BK at fed the masses. Everyone ate except Zoe who only had a fry or two. Anytime you go anywhere with Shane, there is always someone that needs to talk with him. I don't know what it is about gun people. You are automatically best friends and can talk for hours. Here's Shane in burgerking trying to talk with someone and trying to watch over the kids just as the food arrives. He is not a multitasker. He managed to get through it, after someone ate his hamburger and he was left with a mini, and load everyone up again. About 20 minutes into the trip, Zoe pipes up with, I'm hungry. He doesn't know you have to force feed little pups, so he was able to here every 10 minutes the crisis that Zoe was in. I am still giggling. Shane makes it to our house safe and sound. We of course still have a toilet on our front porch from our plumbing woes. Shane, the knuckle head he is, made the blanket statement, make sure you use the bathroom when you get in the house. Mas and Zoe, you need to use the one right there, (it is outside on our porch) it's our special one for visitors. As they were unloading the van, the boys came in and got me and said, you need to see this. Here is little Zoe outside using the pottie. We laugh until we all about need to use it. I guess we need to get rid of our potty, or try to make our gunmakers a little less silly.

It's nice to flush

The gunmaker did it. It is never just replace a toilet. We had to replace the sub floor and the old pipe. Now it is awesome. We had to do rock, paper, scissors to see who got to flush first. Can you see the crack from the handle to the inlet? I think I'm going to go use my potty, just because I can. Try going 3 weeks without the main toilet. Not fun.

trucker bomb

How does this stuff happen? When it the potty training have I ever taught, go get a glass bottle and fill 'er up. I'm sure I never covered that lesson. Today, I'm talking with the big boys in the office and in runs Caleb. He is so excited and proudly proclaiming "look what I did, look what I did." He holds up and empty Jones soda glass. It is full of pee. Laugh or cry? I tried to explain through the holding back of laughter, "we should never pee it bottles, only in the potty." Now I'm going through the garbage making sure there are no specimen bottles to fill. The good to take from this. He didn't miss the mark, put the lid pack on, and didn't pee in his pants. I'm so proud.

Glitter bomb

I use performance enhancing glitter. There, I said it. Now the whole world knows. I might be stripped of some awards and titles now, but I could no longer bare this burden. I had to confess, and after yesterday, the cat is pretty much out of the bag. I only use it to sound better. When I play, I'm not that great. I'm still "perfecting my talents", so I needed that extra edge. When I use glitter everyone is overcome by the glow, not the mistakes. "Wow, she's not bad". No I'm crappy. it's the glitter, not me. I keep my little vile hidden where no one thinks to look and no man dares tread. The makeup bag. The following events have lead me to reconsider my use of performance enhancing glitter.
We had to get the whole family to the Dome by 7:30 am. We are an hour away. You can only guess what kind of morning it was. I thought a real time saver would be putting on my face in the car. If I could only go back. We get on the road and everyone went back to sleep so I bring out the face lift kit. I notice a trace of sparklidge on the zipper and think, hum that's weird. As I unzip I start to see more glitter. Not to big of a deal. As I start to brush and paint, I look at my fingers. What the! where is it coming from. then I see my little bottle with no lid. This can't be good. If you have tried to get rid of glitter you, can't. The fan, no. Brush, no. Window, no. Wet wipes. no. So here I am, glitter hands and all, I look down, my pants are covered in glitter. Upper deck, neck, face, hair, dashboard. It didn't really seem that bad until I was under the big lights. You could see a glitter trail coming down the stairs. From cross court you could see Ridge and Brock sparkling. Shane draining the three never looked more glamorous. There was a dazzling police outline of the babies on the bleachers. I looked like I was dancing at half time. I was just waiting for the tap on the shoulder, "excuse me miss, you're on now." I looked fabulous. When we came home I did my best to de-glitterfy. I have a sparkling counter top where I set my clothes and a glowing shower floor. Even after cleaning, today I look over at Shane in sacrament, the whole side of his face, sparkling. Brock had to sing in Sacrament. He sounded so good, or, was it the glitter? After the last 2 days I'm not saying I will never use glitter again, but I am considering it. Maybe I can find a better container.
Confessions of a performance enhancing glitter user.

joy ride

It has been over 10 weeks since I've had my "MAV". The mechanic assured us it is fixed and ready to go. everyone cross your fingers! I'm ready to have my car seats back, Caleb's tired of driving.