who needs a movie?

4/5 members of my mantourage and I went to IF Saturday to spend the day with granny. We went to the Saturday matinee at the Paramount. Luckily we were the bulk of the crowd. There were, no kidding, about 10 people in the whole theatre. It's a good thing we were over half the audience, Cooper was in rare form. I know better than to take Coop into public places, why, why do I do these things? Humm, where to sit so we don't bug anyone. Oh ya, it didn't matter, we were the crowd. We finally get settled in and strategically place everyone where touching and sharing would matter the least. (not easy btw) Just as we settle the movie starts and Cooper sits down. Sat for the first 5 minutes. After his brief encounter with the well mannered side he slowly starts to meander. He works his way down the isle with the random sampling of drinks, then came back through for popcorn, and finished with one last lap for candy. On his way back to home base, he stops at Caleb. I think it was a because Caleb was the only one who was reluctant to hand over the goods. Coop tried to get Caleb's drink but K was to fast. K put his hand over his straw. It didn't stop Coop, he just bit him, grabbed the straw back and started chugging. What do you do? Who do you defend in this situation? Either way someone would end up crying. I did what any good movie watching mother would do, I popped a few milk duds in my mouth , sat back and just let it slide. There was enough drama on the big screen. They both learned a valuable lesson. Share or bite. Bite and get hit;).
This random sampling took up about 30 minutes of movie time. We still had 1 hour left. It was going to be smooth sailing. Just sit back and enjoy what was left of the movie with all 4 of the other people there. Out of the 4 people that wasn't us, one person just happened to be sitting in front of us. And of course she was by herself and of course Cooper was sitting right behind her. I knew she was trouble from the first time I laughed. I laughed out loud and she gave me the half profile turn glare. What? Really? I just shook it off. I've had worse looks than that for laughing in public. A few minutes later, another laugh from me. This time she turned and gave me the 3/4 turn and stare. Really? What? come on! She obviously had her panties in a wod. I'm no teenage usher but I'm sure it is clearly stated that it's OK to laugh at something that's funny in a movie theater. It's a little thing the writer's occasionally put into the script called "humor". It wasn't even the pee your pants kind of laughing it was a little snicker. At this point I was so glad Cooper was strategically placed away from the rest of my pose'. He started dancing to the music and got a pretty nasty glare from old tighty whitey. More music lead to more dancing. Old tighty couldn't take it, she got up and moved. The funny thing is, she could have moved anywhere, but choose to move one seat forward? whatever. I had bigger issues, Cooper issues. He started to race up and down the isles, luckily Caleb had to poop so we went to the bathroom. I was hoping he was constipated and it would take for ever. I swear that was the fastest he had ever taken care of business. I didn't waste enough time so we went back in to finish out the show. Man that was a workout. I love going to the movies, just not with Coop. Next time I'm only going to show up with 3/5 of my mantourage. Or, maybe I should go 5/5 and hope to cross paths with old tighty again.